When a relationship is over, leave. Don’t continue watering a dead flower.
it’s so amusing how offended people get when you’re comfortable with yourself. it’s been so great over the past few months watching people love themselves more. i love selfies and nudes and i love when girls call themselves queens and act like they’re the hottest thing on the planet and if anyone calls you self centered or pretentious blow them the biggest kiss and carry on.
last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere
i wasn’t joking
so I was going through shutterstock and I found this old woman and like wtf tone it down grandma
then you’ve got her like “ohh whats in the box?”
"its a chair"
"when will my dentures return from war?"
oh showing some sass now
and my personal favourite
got a masters degree in being ignored